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Episode 39 10 min

Episode 39: Too Young for Goodbye

Some children learn multiplication tables. Some learn how to ride a bike. Some learn what it means to say goodbye. In this week’s episode of Pretty & Painful, I’m sharing the story of two childhood friends, Dugan and Alyssa, whose lives forever shaped my own. Looking back, I realize my relationship with grief didn’t begin as an adult—it began in an elementary school classroom. We’ll talk about chi

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Episode 45 9 min

Working Thru Grief: Emotional Outbursts & Anger

Grief isn’t always quiet. Sometimes it cries. Sometimes it isolates. And sometimes… it gets angry. In this episode of our Working Through Grief series, we’re talking about one of the most misunderstood stages of grief: the emotional outbursts, the short fuse, the moments we don’t recognize ourselves, and the guilt that often follows. What if people don’t just see you as “angry”… but they never sto

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Episode 30 9 min

Episode 30: The girl you don't know

The Girl You Don’t Know Thousands of people know pieces of me. The grief girl. The firefighter. The dispatcher. The BBQ queen. The loud girl. The girl who always seems to have something to say. But what about the girl behind all of that? In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain and talking about the versions of ourselves we don’t often introduce to the world. The insecure girl. The angry gi

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Episode 36 8 min

Episode 36: Today, The Cake is Bitter

Episode 36: Today, the Cake Is Bitter Bitterness rarely arrives all at once. It starts with a broken promise, an unanswered apology, a betrayal, a loss, or a wound that never truly healed. Before long, the hurt we’ve been carrying begins to shape the way we see people, the way we love, and even the way we see ourselves. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re having an honest conversation about

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Episode 35 15 min

Episode 35 : I wish they could see this

🤍 Episode 35 | I Wish They Could See This I catch myself saying it all the time. “I wish they could see this.” The new doors God is opening. Choosing joy on the hard days. Walking away when it’s time. Beating cancer. The perfect peanut butter cookies. Even my ginger hair… which I’m still hoping heaven lets me keep. 😉 Grief has taught me something I never expected. The people we love don’t stop s

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Episode 39 13 min

Working Thru Grief : Denial

🎙️ WORKING THROUGH GRIEF: DENIAL I used to tell myself my elementary school best friend wasn’t dead. She had simply gone undercover for the FBI. Delusional? Absolutely. But grief doesn’t care about logic. That’s the thing about denial nobody tells you. It’s not always refusing reality. Sometimes it’s your heart buying time. Sometimes it sounds like: “But we just talked.” “I just saw them.” “I jus

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Episode 32 11 min

Episode 32: Slipping Away

Episode 32: Slipping Away ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode discusses depression, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and survival mode. Some episodes I show up with answers. This isn’t one of them. This week we’re talking about the quiet battles. The kind you fight while you’re still smiling. The kind nobody notices because you’re still showing up, still functioning, still carrying the weight. We’re ta

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Episode 29 16 min

Episode 29: I can't Live, Laugh,Love in this economy

Babes… I can’t live, laugh, love in this economy. I can barely add to cart. This week we’re talking dopamine dressing, oversized t-shirts, Shein carts, weight loss, anxiety, reunion nerves, and the strange experience of trying to recognize yourself while you’re still growing. Somewhere between the beige trends, the bed rot, the life stress, and the “I have nothing to wear” spiral, I realized this

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Episode 3 11 min

Table Talk Episode 3: The Finch on a Buoy

Sometimes grief finds us in the strangest places. A finch on a buoy. A quiet river. A memory that suddenly feels alive again. In this Table Talk episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re sharing a listener story that reminds us how deeply love lingers — even in the smallest signs. From the crystal waters of the Ichetucknee to the ache of missing someone who mattered, this episode is about connection, rem

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Episode 27 12 min

Episode 27: I Saw you today

Episode 27 — “i saw you today” Sometimes grief doesn’t crash through the front door. Sometimes it pulls up beside you at a gas pump under a red sunset sky and steals the air right out of your lungs. Today I saw a stranger… but for a second, my heart swore it was you. This episode is about the weirdness of grief — the double takes, the familiar faces, the moments that feel like warm hugs and heartb

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Episode 26 17 min

Episode 26: Why are they so nice?

I found myself asking a question lately that honestly felt a little embarrassing to say out loud: “Why are they so nice to me?” Not fake nice. Not performative nice. Not nice with hidden intentions attached to it. I mean genuine kindness. Patience. Gentleness. The kind of love that doesn’t keep score. And maybe that question says more about what I’ve survived than anything else. In Episode 26 of P

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Episode 25 16 min

Episode 25 : Grace for the girl i used to be

Episode 25 of Pretty & Painful is for the girl who still cringes at old Facebook memories, old choices, old relationships, old coping mechanisms… and forgets she was surviving the best way she knew how. This episode is about grace. Not just the kind God gives us — but the kind we struggle to give ourselves. Bailey opens up about grieving old versions of herself, carrying shame for seasons she bare

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Episode 24 21 min

Episode 24: Blurred Vision, Clear Grace

Hindsight is 20/20… but sometimes our vision isn’t. In Episode 24 of Pretty & Painful, Bailey dives into blurry seasons — the moments we ignored red flags, drifted from ourselves, questioned God’s timing, or got so lost in survival mode that we stopped seeing clearly. This episode is about slow blooming, spiritual burnout, hindsight, grace, and learning that healing doesn’t always happen all at on

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Episode 21 11 min

Episode 21: The one someone buys

Episode 21 — the one someone buys I thought he was going to give me specs & storage… but turns out it was never really about the iPad. This episode is about what happens when you realize being “chosen” and being truly valued are two very different things. The gifts, the gestures, the convenience of having someone around — and the quiet ache of wondering if they actually see you underneath it all.

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Episode 24 14 min

Episode 20: I'm a-lot & i'm not sorry

“Too much… or just finally honest?” This episode is for the ones who have been called too much. Too loud. Too emotional. Too honest. In this raw, unfiltered episode of Pretty & Painful, Bailey opens up about grief, healing out loud, and the reality of being misunderstood in a world that prefers things quiet and palatable. From accusations of “doing it for attention” to choosing what parts of her s

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Episode 19 12 min

Episode 19 : A little more pretty, little less painful

Not everything is magically okay… but something feels different. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, I’m opening up about what it looks like when the blinders finally come off—when grief is still there, but it doesn’t feel quite as heavy. This isn’t me saying I’m done healing. This isn’t me ignoring the hard. This is me learning… I’m not alone in it. Through faith, through growth, and through the

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Episode 18 17 min

Episode 18: It wasn't the same

Some places don’t change… but the way they feel does. This episode is about going back— back to the places that raised you, the memories that shaped you, and the people who aren’t there anymore. It’s about expecting comfort… and being met with silence. About realizing that healing doesn’t always look like closure— sometimes it looks like sitting in the middle of what once was, and choosing to stay

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Episode 19 14 min

Episode 19 : God Met Me Here

⸻ God Met Me Here I didn’t find God in a perfect moment. I didn’t find Him when everything made sense. I found Him… here. In the middle of the messy. The grief. The questions I didn’t have answers for. This episode is about the kind of faith that doesn’t look polished— the kind that shows up in quiet prayers, in car rides with tears you didn’t plan, in moments where all you can say is, “God… I nee

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Episode 20 8 min

Episode 17- Driftwood - BFF's & Suwannee River

Driftwood — BFFs & Suwannee River We didn’t drift… we just took the scenic route back. In this episode, it’s Bay & Shay— back in Florida, back by the water, and back in the kind of friendship that doesn’t need explaining. We’re talking growing up, growing apart, growing back together… and how the real ones don’t disappear—they just float steady until you find each other again. A little nostalgia.

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Episode 16 14 min

Episode 16: Back where she loved me first

This episode feels a little softer… but no less real. I’m sitting at the table with memories of my Aunt Judi — the kind of woman who wasn’t for everyone, but meant everything to the people she loved. The one who could bring sweetness into chaos, whether it was through her voice on dispatch or something homemade in her hands. Today feels like a bake sale kind of day… warm, familiar, a little bitter

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Episode 18 15 min

Healing isn't quite- April 19th

Healing Isn’t Quiet — April 19th Warning: This episode discusses personal experiences with sexual trauma and healing. Listener discretion is advised—please take care of yourself while listening. This episode is personal. Not for attention. Not for opinions. But because healing doesn’t happen in silence. April 19th, 2017 changed me. Not just in a moment… but in the way I saw myself, my body, and th

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Episode 2 11 min

Table Talk 2: Same Table, Different Plates

Same table. Different plates. This Table Talk holds stories that don’t always get said out loud — the kind that change you. From loving someone who broke you… to learning how to live with the parts they left behind. These aren’t perfect stories. They’re real ones. About losing yourself in relationships… finding your way back… and unlearning the things that made you question your worth. If you’ve e

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Episode 15 13 min

Episode 15: No Reputation Required

In this episode, I’m talking about what it feels like to outgrow a version of yourself… that people refuse to let go of. The girl who was loud. The girl who reacted. The girl they labeled… and never updated. Because growth is a weird place to be. You’re not who you used to be… but people still treat you like you are. This is about: ✨ Healing without explaining yourself ✨ Letting people misundersta

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Episode 14 9 min

Episode 14: Sorrow Into Story - Normalizing Grief

Grief doesn’t come with a timeline… and it sure doesn’t ask for permission to stay. Some days you’re okay. Some days it hits you out of nowhere — years later — like it just happened. And somewhere along the way, the world starts expecting you to be “over it.” This episode? This is your permission slip. To still miss them. To still feel it. To still carry love that didn’t have anywhere to go. Becau

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Episode 13 12 min

Episode 13: “A Life I Don’t Need to Escape From”

A Life I Don’t Need to Escape From There was a time I was always looking for a way out. Not physically… but mentally. Scrolling. Staying busy. Filling every quiet moment so I didn’t have to sit with myself. Because if I’m honest… my life didn’t feel like somewhere I wanted to stay. But somewhere along the way… that started to change. Not in a big, dramatic way— but in the small, quiet choices. Lea

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Episode 1 7 min

Table Talk: Still here....Through it all

For the first time, it’s not just my story. It’s hers. It’s yours. It’s what happens when we stop carrying things alone. From loss… to boundaries… to choosing peace—this episode is a reminder that healing doesn’t look one way, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But progress is still progress. And your story might be the lifeline someone else needs. 🎙️ A Seat at the Table Pretty & Painful Podcast Wh

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Episode 12 16 min

Episode 12 : She's Watching....

You don’t realize it at first… but we spend our whole lives watching. As kids, we watch the people we love— how they live, how they speak, how they carry themselves. And one day… we watch them leave. This episode is about grief, growth, and the quiet realization that the way we heal… is being watched too. I wasn’t always soft. I wasn’t always healing. But somewhere between the pain, the silence, a

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Episode 11 14 min

Episode 11: Romanticizing My Life… Even When It’s Falling Apart

I used to think romanticizing your life meant pretending everything was okay… Now I know— it’s how you survive when it’s not. This episode is for the ones carrying grief quietly… still lighting candles, still choosing softness, still showing up. Because maybe healing isn’t loud— maybe it looks like love, little moments… and a touch of Easter grace. 🌷 🎙️ Romanticizing My Life… Even When It’s Fall

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Episode 10 8 min

Episode 10 : I Didn't NEED The Last Word - Healed, not heard

I spent a long time thinking I needed the last word… like if I could just explain myself one more time, defend myself a little better, or finally be understood… it would fix something. But it never did. Because the truth is— not everyone is meant to understand you. And not every situation deserves your voice. This episode is about letting go of the need to be heard by people who were never really

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Episode 9 16 min

Episode 9: I broke hearts.....to protect my own

This one’s not easy to say out loud… There was a version of me that didn’t love right. I kept people close—but never close enough. I controlled everything. I broke hearts… to protect my own. Not because I was heartless— but because I was scared of how deeply I could feel. In this episode, I’m opening up about the walls I built, the damage I did, and what it actually looked like to take accountabil

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Episode 8 13 min

Episode 8: When everything hits at once

Welcome back to Pretty & Painful — where grief and joy sit at the same table… even when the table feels like it’s on fire. This week, we’re talking about those seasons where everything hits at once. The kind that leave you numb, overwhelmed, and wondering how you’re supposed to keep going. Less sparkle. Less sass. More honesty. More survival. Because not every chapter is a glow up. Some are just a

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Episode 7 8 min

Episode 7 : Numb to Life (But Still Here)

Some days, it’s not sadness. It’s not anger. It’s just… nothing. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, I’m talking about the numbness—the kind that makes you feel like a stranger in your own life. The kind where you’re still showing up, still smiling, still doing what needs to be done… but inside, everything feels quiet. This isn’t a “I have it all together” episode. This is real. This is right now

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Episode 6 12 min

Episode 6: The Strings Between us

Some connections in life are easy. Some are tangled. And some… feel like invisible strings pulling us exactly where we’re meant to be. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, Bailey talks about the friendships that shape us—the ones that appear out of nowhere, the ones that hold us together through grief, and the ones that stretch across states, years, and life chapters. From unexpected best friends

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Episode 5 10 min

Episode 5 : I Was The Call....and I saw it coming

What starts as a frustrated joke about a broken Jeep quickly turns into real flames. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, Bailey shares the moment she went from being the responder… to being the call. From smoke behind the tire to the quiet crash of adrenaline afterward, this story explores guilt, chaos, and the strange feeling of needing help when you’re usually the one giving it. Because sometim

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Episode 4 17 min

Episode 4; Rooted- Same Heart, Different Town

What happens when you leave the place that raised you… and have to decide where you’re going to plant yourself next? In this episode of Pretty & Painful, Bailey talks about being rooted — not stuck. Not small. Not silenced. Rooted. From small-town football nights and Hardee’s parking lot conversations to finding belonging in new soil… this one is about identity, grief, growth, and what it means to

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Episode 3 12 min

Episode 3: Still here. Still Sassin'

Turns out remission doesn’t come with a glitter cannon. And grief doesn’t leave quietly. But somewhere between carrot cake recipes, decorating therapy, and my daughter asking, “Mom, can we make peanut butter cookies?” … I found pieces of myself again. This episode is about personality coming back online. About laughing without guilt. About being allowed to sparkle after survival. I’m still baking.

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Episode 2 22 min

Episode 2: Celebrating Grief

Grief doesn’t always whisper — sometimes it keeps baking, keeps winning bingo, keeps showing up. In Episode 2 of Pretty & Painful, Bailey talks about celebrating the ones we’ve lost while honoring the generational strength that teaches us to survive heartbreak. From peanut butter cookies to hospital rooms, from Grandma’s resilience to Grandpa’s absence — this episode is raw, tender, and deeply hum

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Episode 1 13 min

Episode 1: My Yellow-No longer a call away

Yellow was never just a color — it was my Grandpa’s phone, the one he called “my yellow.” In this episode, I share what it’s like to lose the person who was always your call away and learn how grief quietly changes everything. From hospital rooms and final goodbyes to finding joy in the everyday again, this episode is about love, loss, and carrying someone with you even when the phone goes silent.

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